Life with Purpose

Interracial Family Organization Forum

2012-01-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

I remember back before the Interracial Family Organization was created my only support with the unique issues interracial families face was a few friends online. I remember feeling very lost when it came to issues I had never before dealt with. I was suddenly faced with racism and questions I never had been asked, and my children has issues around race I just didn't know how to deal with. I went to the multicultural center at the university I attended and the facilitator there said the following to me, "I am sorry that having children on color cuts away at your white privilege." Wow, I didn't know what to say, like I had no right to complain because I haven't dealt with racism all my life? I felt really alone.

I was called a "N*gger Lover", told by some man at Walmart, "your mother must be so proud of you with those little halfbreeds." A woman at Kmart even pulled my (then) 2 year old daughter's natural hair and laughed saying, "this can't be real!" We have been bombarded with questions like, "Did you adopt your kids," "Where are they from?" I was even told by a long term friend that the issues we face are my fault because I chose to have biracial children.

Yes, I had supportive people in my life, but there was no one who really understood the unique issues we faced as an interracial family. When Kat Robertson and Laura Stillman got together and asked if I wanted to be a part in founding and organization for families like our I was excited! Suddenly there was this group of people who understood, who had been through situations similar to mine. They too had been hurt by words of biased people. Some had issues with caring for a child's skin and hair that was different than their own, some had dealt with racism, the questions, the stares. Thank God there was finally a place where we could come and support one another. The Interracial Family Organization was born.

We welcome you to join us! Come share words of support, encouragement, share your story...and just chat with others who know where you're coming from!

http://interracialfamily.org/network/

See ya there!

Blessings ~ Jennifer

Update 2012

2012-01-16T19:28:00.000-08:00

It's been so long since I blogged. I have decided that I have taken enough time off and I need to start blogging and keeping my hair site up to date. Nothing deep, just an update on the family today! :)

so what's new?

Hubby got a job in corrections and had to cut off his long locks. It was very difficult for him and took awhile for all of us to get used to. I used to love playing with his twists and trying new styles in his hair. I have to say his new style is soooo much less time consuming though! Congrats on the new Job Hubby!!!

Zuka is wrestling now which takes up most of his time when he's not in school. He's doing well and I am super proud of him with sticking to something and taking it seriously. He plans to stay with wrestling throughout his time in school. It has been great for his body, he has lost weight and gained so much more physical energy. Go Zuka!

Jamilah is doing well, school is good and her teacher says she is so sweet and a pleasure to have in class. I love to hear that!!! She has been working on her art projects and making t-shirts. She has become quite the little organizer and is a huge help at home!

ME! I am excited that my parents will be visiting from Maine this week! YAY! I miss them so much and can't wait to see them.

I just discovered Pinterest (www.pintress.com) and am having fun posting all my favorite stuff!

I just got a new computer and am excited about making hair videos and having the family make all the funny skits they have been planning. I also want to get back into all the blogging I used to do and like I mentioned before I want to create new hair designs and try new products to blog about.

I have left some very dramatic friends behind and met some new very nice people who I can see being great friends of ours! I'm starting 2012 drama free and loving it!

Love and Blessings! ~ Jenn

2011-10-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

I am very sad to say that my puppy, Bear passed away. He seemed fine but apparently we missed the signs of a bad worm infection. We were worming him every two weeks as recommended for puppies but unfortunately the wormer we bought only treated one type of worm. I went out to play with my puppy and he could barely stand, his back legs were nearly paralyzed and he just kept falling over. I ran to the feed supply store after searching on the internet for the cure. We bought garlic, pedialyte and wormer I ran home and spent hours trying to spray tiny bits of pedialyte down my puppy's throat and make him really comfortable. He seemed to be doing a little better, lifting up his head when my husband came out.....so we all went in for dinner, when we came out he had passed on. The whole family was so sad.

We decided that after the really bad time we have had with animals that we would wait before getting another pet but Zuka was very upset by that decision and begged for another puppy for his birthday. We ended up getting a RED Australian Cattle Dog. He named her foxy because she kinda looks like a little fox. She's super smart....in fact she learned 3 commands today, sit, down and shake. I like her....but I still really miss bear :)

Pets update :)

2011-10-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

After losing our puppy ,Ziggy, the family has been a little down. After a couple weeks I decided it was time to introduce a new baby to the family. Yesterday we added a little grey kitten named Deena.

This is out cat DASH (they look soooo much alike)

And our Puppy Love, Bear! He is a rot/lab mix :)

That's our little pet family right now. They all get along great!!! We love them!!

Live ya Life!

2011-10-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not trying to start any drama with this post but I am tired of whoever reads my blogs and facebook posts and feels the need to report what I write to certain people. I know what I write is public and it's fine to share but when you are changing my words and twisting what I am saying it becomes a problem. I have enough things going on in my life and I don't need to get flack about what I am supposedly writing online. Yeah, I put a lot out there but there is sooooo much I don't write and I really feel like I do a good job not putting other people's business out there. I do, however, put my business out there but, I am an adult and that's what I choose to do. If you're not down with that please do as Rihanna recommends and LIVE YOUR LIFE.....and don't worry about me!! :)

Blessings ~ Jenn

she gon' country

2011-10-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

So today as I rode to town, excited to get out of the country I realized how much my life has changed in and the past few years.....especially the past few weeks lol. I mean the very fact that I get dressed and excited about going to town is so funny to me....I have become country! lol I cut my first coupons (as an adult) today and discussed sales on foods and where to get the best bargains as I also boiled chicken for chicken and rice, had cornbread in the over and iced a carrot cake. Yes, I say "ya'll" a lot now and threaten to whoop my children when they misbehave (I don't wanna hear it lol) I cook southern food, love greens and wave to strangers when driving in the country just like everyone else. HA! I really don't know who I am anymore.

UPDATE

2011-09-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

So much time has passed since I last blogged. I have moved out into the country in Live Oak Fl.

Things have been a little crazy since we moved. The other day the hot water would not shut off and we could not find a shut off valve anywhere. Finally Tony's uncle decided to turn off the pump to the well and send Tony to get a new faucet. So Tony heads off to town and I sit down to relax a minute. Suddenly I hear screaming and run out into the kitchen to Jamilah crying as water shoots out of the hole where the faucet was. It looks like a geiser and sprays water clear up to the kitchen ceiling. I was getting soaked and tried to put my hand over the hole to no avail I finally saw a bucket and put it over the hole and guided the water into the sink.....which could not hold all of the water so I was steady scooping up water and pouring it into the other side of the sink. I sent Zuka over to ask Tony's uncle what had happened and he said he turned it on so he could get his evening bath.....UMMMM? Did he forget that he suggested we take our sink off and that we had no shut off valves? I can't even imagine why he would turn the pump back on and not wait for us to install the faucet.What a mess to clean up.....luckily we got all the water cleared up and got the new faucet in PTL.

We have had a lot of problems with the puppies escaping from the 10x10 Kennel we bought them. WOW I did not expect the puppies to be that smart, they dug under the fence, them pushed out the sides of the fence, anything to escape. Soon 3 puppies became 2 as one disappeared one evening. We still have out lab/rot mix "bear" and our medium sized mixed breed pup "Ziggy". "Dash" the cat seems to love the new house and has had a couple of outside adventures himself though he is supposed to stay inside!

Kids seem to be doing well in their new schools and they enjoy the outdoors here and having their cousins right next door.

Hubby is still looking for a job, He has an interview at the prison tomorrow so I am praying he gets the job. Today I am taking out his twists and he will be cutting off his hair. That's really the only way he is going to get the job he wants here, unfortunately.

Me? I'm ok. I'm struggling with the lack of income and the changes we have made. I miss my family in Maine and my friends there so much. There are a lot of changes that need to be made and things I have to work on and they weigh heavily on my mind. Hoping to find a good church here....and meet some good people :)
and continue to work on my book and blogging daily....

much love ~ Jenn

Jamilah turns 10 !!!

2011-04-30T16:19:00.000-07:00

This week my beautiful little girl turns 10! I can hardly believe how fast the past 10 years have flown by. I remember like it was yesterday, laying on the exam table covered in cold jelly and the ultrasound technician told me I was having a little girl! I burst into tears of joy!

When my daughter was born she was the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen and I named her Beautiful, Which in Arabic is Jamilah! In my eyes, she is still the sweetest, smartest, most beautiful little girl in the world....but I might be a little partial lol :)

HAPPY 10th Birthday Jamilah!!!!

Blog to check out!

2011-04-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy reading the blog "This Nest"! Today I read the blog post Setting the Record Straight , about being an interracial family, that I encourage you to read!! Check it out!

Belief Systems

2011-04-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

We do not see things as they are,

we see them as we are

~ Anais Nin

How do your belief systems affect how you view the world around you and how you view yourself? You were not born with your belief system. Your belief system was developed through the life that you have lived, what you were taught while growing up and experiences that you have had. All of these experiences have created a lens in which you view the world. This Lens is very important because it directly affects how you live your life! I think of it as a pair of glasses, if the lenses are dirty you are seeing the world in a negative light, if they are clear you see the world as more positive, maybe they are rose colored and you see the world that much more positively. How you perceive what information you take in greatly impacts your self image, self esteem and how you interact with those around you.

I have been reading a good book about belief systems called "Why is this happening to me again" by Dr Michael Rice. You can check out his website and download a free copy of the book here . I liked is so much I ordered a copy.

If you feel your belief systems are negatively affecting your life there are some things you can do to change them!

when negative thoughts come into your mind, recognize them and change them. for example if someone is laughing and you automatically thin they might be laughing at you, think to yourself, "no this is just my negative perception, they are probably just enjoying a joke that does not involve me"
Visualize yourself having the characteristics you desire. If you want better self esteem, visualize how that would look and feel for you.
Fake it until you make it. Pretend you have the new belief system and act as if you had that belief.
Seek professional help either with a counselor or a good book written on the subject like the one mentioned above.

It can take a lot of work to change your belief patterns, they did not develop over night and they will not change over night. Keep working at it, it's worth it! You are worth it!!

Blessings ~Jennifer

Antonio

2011-04-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

Snuggled safely against your chest

in your arms so very blessed

my husband, the center of my world

how happy I am to be your girl

I Love you more than my words can say

content, I can't stand to be away

from the only one to make me glad

my friend, my lover, my children's dad

I wish I could show you the depth of my love

everyday thanking the Lord above

that I'm married to my best friend

to have and to hold till the very end.

life....

2011-04-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just need to cry.....when I think about all the injustice in the world, when I think about unwanted babies, people dying, children without anyone to love them.....sometimes I just can't help but to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.... I cry and try to comprehend how a wife goes on when her husband has died, or parents live on when a child passes. I cry and feel the pain of everyone who hurts....I hold my children and my husband tight....Thank God for them and my parents....Thank God for all the blessings I have and pray for all those who go without....

Lord I will never understand why people must suffer.....and like a child I still want to save the world....take away the pain ..... Of course the strangers (and loved ones) will never know the prayers I have prayed for them, or the tears I have shed for them.... It's just the way I deal with the pain I can't begin to comprehend....

changes....

2011-03-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

I am really in a state of confusion right now. There are so many things that I thought I wanted that I'm not so sure about now. The problem with changing your mind about things is that is sometimes hurts other people who are depending on you and I don't want to hurt anyone. I have so many changes planned!!

AHHHH I feel like screaming but I just need to keep reminding myself....like the song says....

"Hold on! Change is coming!!!"

so there's this guy

2011-03-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

So there's this guy and he drives me pretty crazy....we don't always agree and of course we both think we are always right.

But the my heart is broken and he puts my head of his chest and everything is OK. I'm sick and miserable and the touch of his (always warm) hand takes the pain away....He's like some kind of magician.....turning the worst days into happiness.....I love him....my best friend and my love for life!

God is Great!

2011-03-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

I was so nervous about my upper endoscopy yesterday and I had asked for prayer in Church Wednesday. Nurses always have a hard time putting in my IV and I was afraid it would be as painful as usual. I spent nearly the whole morning in prayer. When it came time to do my IV I started to meditate and I remembered my meditation tape telling me to put myself in the place felt most comfortable, suddenly I found my mind in church listening o the Wilson singers sing as I sung along in my head... then the nurse tapped me and told me what a great patient I was, I hadn't felt a thing!! My endoscopy went very smoothly and except for feeling tired had no side effects! PTL!

Too Blessed

2011-03-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

.

Yanno...I had been feeling so depressed Just letting it eat at me and get to me, just really wallowing in it.I really couldn't see any way of getting out of the hole I felt I was in..... I went to Church Sunday and just LET IT GO! I just feel so much better! I realized I am too blessed to be depressed!

I know you see all the inspirational quotes I have been posting.....they are just little things that inspired me and hopefully they will inspire you too! Please feel free to borrow them, pass them on!!

Here is a song that inspired me for those of you who are believers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8nTrpD7nV4

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. "

~ Cadet Maxim

"If you're going through hell, keep going. "

~ Winston Churchill

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

~ Unknown

Searched all over... couldn't find nobody

I looked high and low... still couldn't find nobody

Nobody greater... nobody greater no... nobody greater than You

really feeling this song right now!!!

2011-03-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

VASHAWN MITCHELL LYRICS

"Nobody Greater"

I climbed up to the highest mountain

I looked all around, couldn't find nobody

Went down into the deepest valley

Looked all around down there, couldn't find nobody

I went across the deep blue sea

Couldn't find one to compare... to your grace, your love, your mercy

Nobody greater... nobody greater than you

Searched all over... couldn't find nobody

I looked high and low... still couldn't find nobody

Nobody greater... nobody greater no... nobody greater than you

Nobody can heal... like you can

Oh most holy one you are the Great I Am

Awesome in all your ways and mighty is your hand

You are He who carried out redemption's plan

Searched all over... couldn't find nobody

I looked high and low... still couldn't find nobody

Nobody greater... nobody greater... nobody greater than you

Saturday

2011-03-12T07:19:00.000-08:00

Well I ordered the books my Doctor and my counselor suggested " The Beck Diet Solution" and the book from http://www.whyagain.com/ I found both books on Amazon for $10 shipping included!!! Not bad at all!

I traded kids last night so I had the boys and expected they were going to raise heck but suprisingly they were much quieter than the girls usually are. I brought them Popeye's chicken and suprised them with a fried oreo. Something I wanted to try once and probably will never eat again. It was good but not good for you at all of course. They watched a movie and fell right to sleep....too easy!

Today I'm not sure what I am doing but I really want to get out of the house but later I need to tackle the mountain of laundry in my laundry room. I still haven't figured how I got so far behind!!

Have a blessed day! ~ Jennifer

Hey ya'll!

2011-03-10T11:35:00.000-08:00

So I am feeling so much better today! The weather is nice and cool, just right for a t-shirt and maybe some jeans or shorts. I've had a bit of a busy day and now I'm jut hanging out doing laundry and watching Kat's Vlog from http://www.youtube.com/user/katjrobertson . If you haven't checked her out you should. She is a mom and kind of a super-woman. I find her very inspirational.

I finally got m PC back in the family room with a new desk and a new monitor (well new to me) lol. SO I'm back to blogging and losing weight!!! I got an exercise video, new batteries in my scale and lots of plans. I will update you on the pounds lost but the details will be in my private blog that I will reveal once I have reached my goal. I will be writing a book ad plan to use those blogs fo rmy book :).

Life is just looking up right now.... nothing major happening just the sky looking a litle brighter and the depression clearing from my head!! :)

Peace and Blessings ~ Jennifer

RUIN

2011-02-06T16:38:00.000-08:00

So right now I feel like a am pretty much at rock bottom. It's just me, I mean my relationship with my husband and family is good it's just me internally feeling like rock bottom.....ruin....But I've come to realize that ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. So I will stop fighting where I am, accept it and build myself back up....

After all some of my biggest heartaches and biggest traumas have led to my biggest blessings....yeah I was brutalised by a man but have two wonderful children from him. I had a pretty hard breakup but without that breakup I never would have met my wonderful husband....so I'm down right now but God has a reason....I am in ruin but it's only for a period of transformation......

Blessings ~ Jennifer

Fake it until you make it.....

2011-02-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

Well to be honest with you I haven't found joy in really anything lately....what a sucky feeling. I have been forcing mysself to do things I really didn't want to do....like camp in the back yard, makes s'mores over the fire, take the kids skating, play barbies with my daughter and it seems the more I force myself to do the more I find a little joy.

It was so embarrassing to admit that I somehow lost joy. All those things that are supposed to make you happy just didn't make me feel anything anymore. But I'm not going to give up....I'm going to keep doing activities that would normally make me happy and the joy will return....it has to right?!

February is usually my favorite month and I am excited about the Birthday gift I asked for....A Journal to start my new journey in. I have all the tools and support and I plan my 33rd year to be a year of big change and find my passion again

I'd love to hear your stories either here or personally through e-mail....have you ever felt the emptiness I'm going through....where you're supposed to be happy yet you feel nothing?? How did you get through it?

life.w.purpose@gmail.com

love, peace and blessings ~ Jennifer

Long time no blog

2011-01-31T08:31:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging lately but I have been working on many changes.There were a few things bothering me that kind of spiraled into a depression in which I didn't even want to get out of bed...it started a bit before Christmas....money issues....past issues were triggered and before I knew it I was just a depressed mess. I hardly wanted to leave my room and I certainly didn't feel like I had anything valuable to share with the world. So my e-mails have gone unanswered, my blogs have gone untouched and I have completely lost touch with my cyber world.

I have started seeing a awesome counselor to deal with some of the issues that have been eating away at me. She's great, they could not have found me a better match....I'm journaling my journey since it's a little too personal to blog....yes,,, ha ha...I do have some boundaries of what I will not blog about but perhaps one day I'll write a book.

I'm here...planning some new ideas for "Hair with Purpose" I have some backed up reviews to work on and a lot of unanswered mail....so if you need to get ahold of me please e-mail me at life.w.purpose@gmail.com or for hair related e-mails hairwithpurpose@gmail.com

Lots of Love and Blessings ~ Jennifer

nothing personal

2010-10-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

My son was a little upset yesterday because a boy at school called him poor. The boy said something about his clothing and shoes and hurt Zuka's feelings. I wish I could make him understand that how much stuff he has doesn't equal his value. In fact I believe children should not have too much stuff, nor should anyone. Too much stuff cramps your mind and space and doesn't allow for new blessings.

I want to teach my child that everyone has thei own way of viewing the world, and therefore judges you with their own "lens", every persons lens is different. When someone disapproves of you or has something negative to say you cannot take it personally because that's how they view the world.....and their way is not your own. Therefore it's truly their problem and not yours.

Easy right? Ha! I'm doing pretty well with this idea until I run into someone who's lens is completely opposite of mine, such as a racist person. I'm still learning and trying to take nothing personally.....

peace & blessings~ Jenny

Ooops

2010-10-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I forgot to mention...

I gave up Sugar and Flour 10/4/10!!

Oct.5, 2010

2010-10-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

I finished "the four Agreements" and really enjoyed it. It's a short, simple book to read and has some real wisdom. I am trying to practice the four agreements...I think the hardest one for me is impeccable speech...because I sort of speak a whole lot them think later. I want to stop. I want to examine each word and only speak what I truly feel.
I have been working on not taking things personally for some time now and I have gotten soooo much better than I used to be and yet I still have so far to go.

I am also reading "earth way" by Mary Summer Rain.

In meditation yesterday I was sitting by a brook and looked up at this little stone bridge that crossed that crossed the brook and I saw myself....But the self I would be where it not for all the earthly distractions. I have seen her in a dream before. She is so at peace and just exudes tranquility. It's lovely. I know that person is inside me, I just need to peel away the layers and be her.

My second meditation was to Native Chants and I saw the same lovely woman run, jump and dance. It was joyous and I felt so free.

I know I am heading on the right path...I just need to stay on it!!

Peace & Blessings

FInding treasures

2010-10-02T15:50:00.000-07:00

I just finished "eat pray love" and really enjoyed the book. I am working on making changes in my life and that book really inspired me. I asked for suggestions on other books and ended up getting "The Alchemist", "the four agreements" and "hip tranquil chick".

It's funny whenever I have something in mind to buy, I always end up finding it at a second had shop or yard sale. I had put "the four agreements" on my wish list but found it at the flea market today for 50cents. I know this may sound weird but sometimes I feel it's like God or the universe puts the things I'm wanting in front of me at and affordable price for me.

So last time I needed shoes really bad, I was broke and never find size 11w at second hand shops but a friend wanted to go so I went along and found the perfect L.L.Bean, brand new leather shoes for $2. It was like it was meant to be. Maybe it sounds far fetched?? But really when there is something I have been wanting/needing I dont even really go looking for it and I find it, dirt cheap, right in front of me.

I know some of ya'll turn your nose up at second hand, which makes me laugh. If I ca get something at a fraction of the cost, and keep it from going into a landfill, I sure feel blessed to find it! Yes, I even feel like I was meant to find it!

Don't get me wrong. I don't bring home a bunch of junk. I am NO hoarder. I use what we need and donate what we no longer have use for. I cannot stand to hoard, or have things around I do not use. If a friend can't use it we donate to one of the local charities or second hand shops. I believe when you hoard you stifle new things and blessings from coming into your life.

So find your treasures....and give your treasures you no longer need....God will take care of the rest.

Blessings~ Peace ~ Love ~ Jenny

No room for negativity

2010-09-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

When I say I have no room for negativity, I include myself in that statement. It's true I have recently distanced myself from people who were not a positive influence in my life but instead of harboring negative feelings I try to pray for them and ask God to bless them.

I don't have room for my own negativity. When I find something unacceptable to me, I will pray for acceptance. When I have resentment I will pray for those who I have resentment towards. I will not think negative thoughts about others; When I catch myself thinking a negative thought about someone I will catch myself, and list 3 positive things about the person.

Negativity will no longer be a part of my life!

MONDAY!!!!

2010-09-27T03:41:00.000-07:00

It's 6:34 am and all I have heard this Monday morning is crying and screeching. My son did not want to get out of bed this morning so he cried for a few minutes. Then my daughter decided she sdid not want to wear the outfit that was picked out for todays. I feel bad making her but her mimi bought it for her and in the store she assured mimi that she would wear this outfit and weeks later it sits in her closet, tags still on. The outfit looks really nice and fits just fine so I a makig her wear it. She could not be more mad at me right now.
I am so tired of everything being and argument in the morning... it's such a bad way to start the day....the WEEK! I have got to get this under control!!!!

torn between to lovers

2010-09-26T14:10:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here watching a thunder storm through my blinds and in my head I can hear that old song "torn between two lovers...."

I'm feeling that way right now. missing home is like that for me. Being torn between two lovers. I'm afraid I'll leave one place for the other and end up missing the first. Though I already miss Maine and my family. I definitely have not made any friends like I had back home! But what if I leave and then miss Florida.....or my husband doesn't like it.

So my new lover (FL) is not as good to e as my old one....at least it's what I know know. Why am I so afraid to step back into the unknown?

Often I wish I never left. But leaving home has taught me a lot about myself. I am more adaptable than I even knew, I can make myself fit where I never realized I could. Hell, even the two day drive was something I had never done before. I can survive in a state with (almost no) family. I can give up everything I own and start fresh and be okay.

But that's all I am here "Okay" I am not growing. There's no art museums, cultural events (no the dang rebel war reenactments do NOT count!) I miss my 12 step group.....

I guess it's pretty clear where I need to be....so why does it hurt so much to leave....

~*~*~*~*Tor between two lovers....feelin like a fool~*~*~*~*~*

resentment

2010-09-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

"If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love. (Big Book page 552)

Dear_____,
I am praying for you daily. I pray God blesses you !

Maine, my square hole

2010-09-25T15:02:00.000-07:00

The more I meditate the more I dream about home. I don't miss the cold weather, or snow...but I constantly dream that I don't belong in my family anymore and I know that's from feeling out of touch. I am half to blame in that area, I don't keep in touch well either.

I can fit in where I am, I can bend and mold myself to fit....but as interesting as it may be at times. It's not ME, I am not being authentic to myself.I don't want to bend anymore. I wonder if all this trying to fit my square self into this round hole with make it difficult to feel comfortable when I return home to my square hole.

I miss community not "every man for himself", I miss smiling at someone and smiling back not asking "who the hell are you?" (true story!). I miss swimming without alligators or snakes, miss laying on the grass and not being eaten by red ants...or fire ants or whatever name they have given to these little insects of the devil.

I'm done explaining why my words never end with an "R" sound, unless of course no "R" belongs there, like in "Amander" for instance.

I miss seeing the faces I grew up seeing, the names I never knew. The places you will never find on a map "Market Square" and such.

I miss my parents, my family, my friends.......

I miss my square hole :(
Blessings ~ J

I will not harbor negativity

2010-09-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

I have no room for negativity even from myself. I will not allow my mind to harbor negative thoughts. When someone angers me, shows prejudice against me, I will pray for them and ask that they be blessed.

I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts. When I believe something negative about myself I will acknowledge that thought and remind myself I am fearfully and wonderfully made (and I'm working on the rest! lol) I will remind myself that I love and accept myself without condition.

I will be gentle with others, I will be gentle with myself....

Namaste

Blessings~ Jenny

Naive?

2010-09-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Someone recently wrote "Most liberals are Naive"....Funny though, the more I have learned about the world, the more I traveled and met people of different cultures, religions, backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, social standings...the More liberal I became. I grew up feeling pretty conservative and knowledge lead to being liberal....Naive? really? I am not saying my way of believing is right for everyone, hell, I'm not even saying I'm right (lol) but I definitely wouldn't say I am Naive...

thoughts?
Blessings ~ Jennifer

Four agreements

2010-09-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Where did this come from?

2010-09-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

I have been doing a lot of meditation and work lately, reading, praying and lightly touching on a painful topic. Yesterday I had major anger issues.... it's like the work I have been doing released pent up anger and I just didn't know what to do with it. I was not a nice person to be around. Anyway Instead of beating myself up I decided to forgive myself for my anger and be gentle. Bought a small gelato and some white wine and decided to watch a happy movie and just leave the anger and thoughts behind. Today however I am so tired and thinking I really need a guide or maybe a counselor to talk to?

Something to talk about

2010-09-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

A woman recently came up to a friend of mine and said she head my friend has been talking about her. My friend stated that she didn't even know the woman's name or anything about her so how could she possibly be talking about her. This made me think....

1. Is it too much self esteem or too little that makes people think everyone is talking about them. My guess is both, someone full of themselves must think that they are so great other have little to do but talk about them. At the same time, someone with low self esteem feels they aren't worth more than to have friends who talk behind their backs.

2. Someone somewhere IS talking about me (and you) right this second. Doesn't matter what you're doing right or wrong you must believe someone is going to talk about it. They talked about Jesus, they are surely going to talk about you. Don't tell your secrets and expect them to remain secrets. There are no perfect people in this world and even the person with the best intentions will let you down at some point, that's just life.

3. It is none of my business what others think about me. None of my concern. It would be controlling of me to try to change their opinion and frankly a waste of time. People are going to believe what they want, people are going to talk. Let them talk. Be concerned with your business.

4. Getting up in someone's face is NOT going to make them stop talking about you, it's just going to fuel the fire and give them more to talk about. The best bet is to ignore it, when they see there is no drama it will take the excitement out of the gossip.

5. Give them something to talk about...they're going to talk anyway so you might as well live your life the way you see fit. No sense hiding. HA HA HA Go ahead and give them something to talk about....and smile through it all

Peace & Blessings ~ Jenny

New Ending

2010-09-21T07:42:00.000-07:00

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. –Anonymous

water

2010-09-21T07:34:00.000-07:00

This came to my mind late one night....here it is...untouched, unrefined....I hesitated to share it before really working on transforming the concept but decided to leave it raw.....undefined....like water

she is water, nothing but water
she can fill any box or vessel you place her in
but she will run, given the tiniest break

she is empty and yet so full of herself
soft, yet strong breaking her way where she will
she will always make it through

she is water, just water
you'll never hold her
she was never meant to be held

touched, admired, enjoyed
she will entertain you
then run, like water always does

Moods changing with tides
hurt her she's ice
anger her, she is steam

she is water, just water
giving birth to life
yet never really living

alone she runs
forever she flows
she is water, just water

Journey

2010-09-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

It started somewhere around stating the book "No woman no cry" by Rita Marley, and by the time I was half way through "Eat Pray Love" I had started a full-blown spiritual journey. I have begun to meditate again. I have been praying and reading and trying to better myself.I believe in God but do not practice exactly as an organized religion prescribes. I go to a protestant church which is very emotional and spiritual for me but I do not agree with 100% of the beliefs. For instance many believe it is a sin to drink, myself I believe that a glass of wine is no sin and certain plants were created for medicinal purposes that other believe are sinful. I believe in the Trinity and believe in the Bible. I believe they are the truth.

I also believe there is much to be learned from other religions and cultures so some of my practices and beliefs may come from other religions though I do not practice that religion completely.

Anyway....like I was saying....I plan to give myself a "re-birth" day to signify my changes on 10/10/10. sounds like a great day for a birthday!!

Ehhhh How I wish I had a close friend, leader, sponsor....like I used to have. She was sooo awesome but we have lost touch I would call her daily and report on my day and she would give me advice and prayers and writing assignments or sometimes just listen. She was WONDERFUL and I wish she was still part of my life. I'm searching for another guide like that. Yes, I know pastors are great guides but I cannot see myself calling m pastor at 6am everyday for guidance about the day....

Anyway I haven't shared with anyone yet about my journey or my "re-birth" day so I thought I would share here so you will know where I a coming from as I share lessons I learn along my path...a path I have been on but am now just ready to get deeper and take it further.

Peace & Blessings ~ J

Romantic Violence?

2010-08-13T02:07:00.000-07:00

I have an issue with songs like "Love the way you Lie" (by Rihanna and Eminem) romanticizing domestic violence. In the video the man and woman are pushing eachother, beating one another, spitting on eachother one second and the next passionately kissing. The songs goes on to say, "I love the way it hurts."

Even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to f****** leave again

I'mma tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire

(complete lyrics)

UMMM? Since when is having your butt kicked sexy? These messages in media romanticize domestic violence and I believe make it seem less dangerous to young women and men. Truth is, Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States. In recent years over 1/3 of women murdered were killed by an intimate partner!! (according to the ABA) Doesn't make getting beaten look very romantic does it?

I was in a violent relationship for 3 years and believe me there is nothing cute about being hurt by someone you love. I found out I was pregnant for my first child in the emergency room after being head butted so hard my whole forehead was swollen and bruised. Cute? Not really! Romantic? NOWAY!

The affects of domestic violence on children is a whole different subject but I surely was NOT going to put my children through that. I left when they were both small. It was hard, I'm not going to lie. Suddenly I was a single mother in college, staying in a safe shelter for survivors of domestic violence. I left several times before I left for good. It took me a long time to trust again, to repair my heart. I was one of the blessed one's who got out before it became deadly, or wasted my life away being abused.

I could tell so many stories of women I met along my journey, or things that helped me and one day I will share those stories but right now I think I need to focus on stopping domestic violence before it starts. I think we need to stop romanticizing violence through movies and music. We need to teach young women (and men) signs of an abusive partner. Teach our children how to control themselves and not be the one's abusing. We as parents need to take domestic violence more seriously....

Here is the book that the domestic violence shelter gave me....AMAZING BOOK!! It made a HUGE difference for me!!

Peace and Blessings ~ J

If you or someone you love is being abused please seek help. For Assistance please call you local Domestic Violence Hotline.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233)

Bob Marley

2010-08-13T01:13:00.000-07:00

~Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds ~

I AM MOM!

2010-08-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

My son has been teasing me since he was little to get his ears pierced and though I really don't want to see him in pierced ears I allowed him to use his own money and pierce them. Mostly because his Bio-dad and his Dad have them and also his sister was allowed to get her ears pierced so, after a little persuasion he talked me into it.

So, we head to Walmart and he pics out some dark silver type small ball earrings. I tell the woman at the jewelry counter that I would like to pierce his ears and she immediately tells me, "Well he must have a legal guardian present!" I tell her I am his mother. and she just looks at me and says, "Are you his legal guardian?" Again I say, "yes I am his mother!".

She's pretty snippy with me and she reluctantly put the things together to pierce his ears. While marking his ears I looked to see if the dots were even and she tells me, "MOVE!" I was so ready to tell her something but I didn't want her to be upset with me while piercing my child.

She took my license and several more times she called me, "legal guardian". She even told my son, "Let's have your legal guardian stand in front of you while we pierce your ears."

As soon as she gets those holes in my sons ears I said, "Look I am HIS MOTHER not just a legal guardian, I hear you keep calling me guardian but I gave birth to this boy, I am his biological MOTHER!!"

She just looks at me

I tell her, " I know he is dark for a biracial child but I am his biological mother and I would appreciate if you stop calling me his guardian." She tells me, "that's not why I said that." YEAH, OKAY!!

I was really upset that because our skin color is so different she kept repeatedly stripping me of my title as mother!!

Jacksonville Day Trip

2010-08-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

I had sooo much fun today with my husbands family....

First we went to see his brothers new place in Jacksonville! It was really nice with 2 big pools, volleyball court and gym

So, Of course we needed to check out the pool!

After swimming we headed over to Joe's Crab Shack!

This is my new favorite restaurant!! We had 2 kinds of crab, corn, potato, fries, shrimp and fish.

The waitresses and waiters would come out and do a dance every few minutes, music was booming, we were laughing and just having an awesome time! If you have a Joe's Crab Shack in your area, I highly recommend you check it out!

Joe's Crab Shack

David, Antonio and Ms. Zellene

It's right on the ocean so the view was beautiful!!

After we had an awesome meal we went back to my brother-n -laws and looked through old pics and laughed and we just had the most wonderful day!!!

Peace and Blessings~ Jennifer

Children and Weight

2010-08-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

We went to the flea market the other day and a woman there asked J how old she was. J smiled and said 9, the woman proceeded to say, "wow you are very large for a 9 year old!" I saw my daughter face suddenly sink. Now at 9, she weighs about 70 pounds and can wear a children's 10-12. She is certainly NOT overweight!!

It amazes me how so many people put model standards on children. Making careless comments like that can certainly harm a young girl who struggling with becoming a young lady. I have heard stories of some young girls who stopped eating and developed eating disorders because someone said they were large or overweight.

I think as moms we really need to be careful what messages we are sending to our children. I am not saying that telling them being obese is okay, truth is that's not healthy and NOT ok. Being healthy is normal, awesome, beautiful!!! Being natural, being yourself, is BEAUTIFUL!!! This is the message we need to be sending our little girls.

Here is one clothing company I love that has a positive message for our daughters: Pigtailpals

Does anyone know of any other companies for clothing, toys, dolls etc... with a positive message for girls???
Please share!

Racist Club, Legal?

2010-08-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Recently some friends of ours went to a club in our area. They were told the dress code was no dread locs, no twists, no braids. One friend, who happens to be black, took his hat off to show he had short hair , they then told him he could not get in with a jersey on. He took off his jersey and tried to enter the club but was told no white t-shirts were allowed. The friend drove to Walmart where he purchased a shirt of a different color, drove back to the club and was finally allowed in. When he went in the club he noticed several white patrons with white t-shirts on. Of course this led me to think there was something fishy going on at this club so I started asking around town.

I met a white woman who frequents club rodeo, she says she and her friends go there at least 2 times per week and they have gotten to know the owner. She stated that the owner said to her that he does not want to allow too many black people in the club at once because they cause too many problems. Therefore they made the follow rule: No dreads, no twists and no braids allowed in the club. Of course, these hairstyles are more often worn in the black community.

I asked more people, white people, black people, biracial people and the general belief is that this club does not welcome people who are not white and the owners are racist.

How can this be legal to discriminate. I am because they are a privately owned club that it's legal, but it's open to the public. Therefore if I had a restaurant or any other business would I be allowed to make it white only? How is that any different than pre-civil rights times? What can we do to fight against discrimination like this?

I am still trying to reach a member of management to inquire about the dress code: Currently the number says disconnected

Here is to clubs information:
Club Rodeo is located at 1529 S Us Highway 441 Lake City, FL.

http://www.myspace.com/officalclubrodeo

what a racist tool!

2010-07-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

So I was in touch with someone from my past, who's girlfriend was apparently jealous and he decided to explain why he wouldn't be with me even if we were both single.... I was shocked to say the least....

I wouldn't be with you even if we were single because I don't like the fact you like black people (that's a big turn off for me) I mean I like black people have a few friends that are black, but wouldn't date them cause my heritage is Irish and i don't believe in biracial relationships, that's just me.I have never dated a woman who has slept with a black man.Sometimes i feel white girls date black men cause they think it makes them cooler (not saying you are)but I have been told by several girls that's why they did.

What kind of mess??

Dear TOOL, if I were single, I wouldn't date you because you're a racist idiot.... with a bald head...hmmm shall I guess Skin Head?

Yes I chose my husband because I thought it was the "cool thing to do" ...ha ha! that's a new one for me!!

JUST TALK TO ME

2010-07-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

There is a person who always does this "white" voice when she quotes a white person. I find it pretty offensive because it basically makes every white person sound like a tool.

The worst part is, when she talks to me she talks in this white voice, not quite as pronounced as when she's making fun of white people but it's noticeably changed.
I want to tell her....JUST TALK TO ME! I will understand!! lol You don't need to talk "white" for me to get you or feel comfortable, in fact I feel more uncomfortable when you change things for me.

When you say "cracker"....please let it slide, don't stop and apologize to me in front of the room. When you talk about white people, please don't point out you mean those "other" white people.

First of all if you feel guilty saying it just don't say it. Pointing me out first doesn't make it any better,it just makes me feel all the more uncomfortable.

No... I don't know who that country singer is...I don't listen to country. lol. I probably don't fit into many of your "white people" stereotypes.

JUST TALK TO ME

Like you would anyone else. I promise to do the same.

Talk talk talk

2010-07-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

Why do people like to talk so much? lol it's crazy that people would have such a sad life that they just sit around talking about other people.

So they other day we were hanging out at a friends house with a couple of other couples. It was late and I started feeling sick to my stomach so I told my husband we really needed to get going. Well today I am told that there was all this conversation and drama started over my abrupt departure. REALLY? That's the best you can do?

Then my husband doesn't have many of our newer common friends on his myspace I asked him if he wanted me to send requests to our friends since he doesn't get on much and he said yes. There were a couple of people visiting my house for the weekend so I'm not sure who exactly said something but apparently it was turned around to be that I snuck into my husbands account and added people...lol. What in the world would be my intention behind that?? FOOLISHNESS!!!

I have heard several things come back to me....half truths that have been turned around to be something else. It's crazy that these people are so lame they have nothing better to do then talk about me...

So let me clear things up. I live my life my way. If you don't like me or the way I do things, DON'T be part of my life. I love my life. Believe me I don't waste my life talking about YOU or anyone else...I am doing me. I care what my family thinks and no one else....but God.

I can be mad kool...and if you're kool with me, all is good. but for those "friends" just here to cause drama please...STEP!

School Shopping for less

2010-07-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

I went school shopping the other day. I really wasn't planning on it but I saw some items and just couldn't resist.

I got my son some black corduroys, A Calvin Klein reversible belt and a few nice shirts.

I got my daughter baby phat jeans, Mudd jeans, Roca wear and some really cute tops

All together I had 2 bags full of clothing, Yepp I went on a shopping SPREE!!!

Grand total $26. Now the boys pants had a $36 price tag so I bet your wondering how in the world I got such great savings??!! I did our back to school shopping at Goodwill. I got some NEW clothes, a couple of items might have been previously worn but if they were you can't tell.

I'm proud of myself for being kool with that. I don't have to spend a bunch of money to outfit them. There are many ways to help reduce waste and save money by buying previously owned items.

Wait ya'll when the kids get home I'm taking pictures. You'll surely be surprised at my bargains!! We'll have a goodwill fashion show!! :)

Peace and Blessings~ Jennifer

Your Words

2010-06-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

"Your words"

by Hushhh (AKA J Morris)

Your words are beautiful, your thoughts so sincere

Brilliant Articulation, Every emotion so clear

I'd give anything to be the one you're thinking of

anything to be that one you truly love

You speak of broken dreams, of a longing heart

How much it pains you for you to be apart

You Speak of a Man's love, "No stronger in the world"

But I can see in your eyes, you're speaking of that girl

You present me with your lyrics, I devour every bite

Pour out your emotions as we lay in bed at night

Words, Thoughts, Emotions laid out magically

All I do is listen in awe and wish they were for me

© 2000-2010 GS Poetry. All rights reserved.
see more of my poetry http://www.gspoetry.com/member-hushhh-21787

The Dream by J Morris

2010-06-29T05:47:00.000-07:00

"dream"

by Hushhh (aka J Morris)

You and I, we, we dreamed a dream

.....the dream died

And there you were, eyes closed still dreamin

how could I wake you?

when all I wanted to do is close my eyes

and dream the dream again with you

How do you admit the dream is gone

when it was all you ever wanted

where will we be, if we can't share the dream?

so sleep for now....and dream for one more night

I'll wake you in the morning....

© 2000-2010 GS Poetry. All rights reserved.

The storm (one of my older poems)

2010-06-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

"the storm"

by Hushhh (AKA J Morris)

I stood in the hot rain, naked....
tears running down my face....panicked...shocked...pained

it was like a dream...no ....a nightmare

I'd do anything to wake up....rewind the moments of madness...desperation....desperation....desperation....

We used to make love in the storm...no...WE made the storm... I stood naked in the rain the water washing everything we had away...

Tupac's word...ringing in my ears...."the day you chose to leave me...it rained constantly outside...in truth I saw the rain to be the tears in cupid's eyes..."

Cupid crying....Your words echo in my head..."I don't want YOU in my life anymore"....

I never felt such intense loss...grief....desperation....shock....

Madness...Craziness...
Only you can bring forth such intense emotion...like a storm...we clash....opposite forces...collide and make something dangerously beautiful...
I stood naked in the rain....long enough...the storm subsided...the tears dried...the calm at the end of the storm....YOU and I.....ALWAYS....YOU and I

weathered another storm....

CUPID SMILED....

© 2000-2010 GS Poetry. All rights reserved.

See more of my poetry at http://www.gspoetry.com/member-hushhh-21787

2 am ramblings

2010-06-24T23:56:00.000-07:00

SO I'm up...it's 2 am. What is it with 2am? It seems like any time I manage to get to bed at a reasonable hour I wake at 2am. Then I lay there and think. think too much. more than anyone should at 2am lol.

This may be one of those boring blog posts you might want to skip, probably no rhyme or reason, not that I pride myself of being some fantastic writer anyway lol. I just have a few things on my mind and want to blog them off.

First of all, my mother in law went in the hospital tonight and I was so worried about her. She needed a blood transfusion and I believe she is going to be okay but i got so nervous. Her family...well my husbands family has been through so much. First her brother passed away in a fire, then last year her son passed away from pneumonia, then a couple months ago her husband dies of a heart attack. So when they called and said she was on her way to the hospital...man I was worried....

This of course, reminded me how much I miss my family and how far away I am and if anything was to happen how quickly could I get there? I miss my kids. A Month is a HUGE time to be away from your heart and soul. OK maybe that sounds dramatic but really, they are the reason I get up in the morning. I never knew love that like was possible until I had children. OMGoodness they are amazing...they are so unique and wonderful...BEAUTIFUL. God has given me such a beautiful gift!

I can't believe their father doesn't see them. It's been years since he saw them, or called, or sent a card. NOTHING. And No I don't get any child support. I am too proud. He can take his little $30 a month and shove it. Not that I have been offered lol...I'm not sitting here ripping up checks, they just never come. So I called him...and asked if he wanted to see the kids while they are visiting family in Maine. I explain they they don't want to visit alone since they haven't seen him for so long, they are nervous. So he says he won't see them then. WHATEVER...what was I thinking almost putting my kids through the trauma of seeing him anyway he is so unstable.

I have been filling my house and life with people since my kiddos left. There is just an empty place I have been trying to fill. My husbands cousins have been coming over, and it's really a joy having them here. I like kids, I think I'm one of those adults who "get" them...at least I try, I like to listen to kids, understand where they are coming from. Lord knows being a child is no easier than being and adult, going through constant changes and so many pressures. I was my children and other in the family to be able to talk to me. I have been down a few paths and made my mistakes and really think I can help to guide them. HA! they sure can't surprise me...well not much surprises me....if I haven't done it...I've probably seen it...

Well here ends 2am ramblings. I am off to work on a hair review and maybe fall back to sleep at some point? that would be awesome.

Peace & Blessings ~ J

Idealism

2010-06-24T01:32:00.000-07:00

When I was in 6th grade my teacher said I reminded him of Janis Joplin. I took that as a great compliment. He understood that I was different. I was an idealist.

I believed if I spoke enough, wrote enough poetry, protested enough that the world would be a better place. I believed that some day I would see an end to sexism and racism and all the other ism's my 12 year old mind could comprehend.

20 years have gone by...I've written 100 poems, logged quite a few hours of protest, worked against domestic violence and racism, worked towards equality I sit back tonight and ask myself what has really changed?

The world seems to squash Idealism...making us believe that nothing will ever change...and there's me...20 years of hope under my belt and still I refuse to give up...still I fight...still I refuse to remain silent

lol....what else did you expect from and idealist....

never give up!

1 Love ~ Jennifer

mysogyny

2010-06-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

So I went to a friends house tonight and she wanted to hang out. It was all cool until she decided that she wanted to go to a pool place down the street. As soon as I walked in some dude started yelling REALLY loud at me, "come here baby" "Bring that big azz over here" he kept yelling really loudly and I just gave him a dirty look. I sat down and called my husband.

My husband arrives within 5 minutes and I pointed the man out. He quickly left the pool hall and I followed him outside. I told him I am a married woman and he has NO right to ever disrespect a woman like that. He looked really scared...but probably because my husband stood behind me. They apologized to me and my husband and I asked them to remember this night....should they ever choose to disrespect another woman. they made some comment about my husband probably having a gun....and of course I replied...nawh don't play that racist crap just because he is black doesn't mean he has a gat.

Look all I am asking for is to be able to walk into a place without being hollered at. Is that too much to ask. Yes it was a pool hall but don't I have the right to walk in anywhere I please and not be disrespected because I am a female? I will believe that equal right exist when I can walk in anywhere I please and be treated as an equal no matter my sex, gender, sexual preference, race, creed, religion or otherwise.

I don't care where I am. I have every right to be there, no matter who I am.

I walked outside and told these men everything that was on my mind. It was a group of 5-6 men, I didn't care. I told them they had no right to talk to me this way. How I should be able to go anywhere I want and be spoke to as an equal. They apologized....but I hope I made some impact on them....that they need to come correct. Never let anyone talk to as less than you are. everyone is equal and should be treated this way. Don't let anyone bring you down.

one love ~ Jennifer

update

2010-06-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing really deep to say tonight... Just checking in.

MARRIAGE
My husband and I have been bickering a lot lately over the stupidest things there are just some things that drive me NUTS and I know he feels the same. Tonight we both made lists of what we would like our partner to work on and agreed to try harder.

I think many people go through tough times and want to just give up. I admit I have thought about it but the next though is "Can I really see myself without this man?" The answer is a definite NO! I love him. Antonio is my best friend in the world.He is the one person I can tell anything to and he doesn't judge me. I feel so comfortable with him, we really are like one person.

It's certainly worth working on things and trying a little harder to make things right. If I have to compromise a little, I am willing to try m best so we can live a long happy life together. WE are worth it!

Children

My kiddos are visiting family in Maine and I miss them so much! we talk on facebook and on the phone. It made me so happy when my daughter left me a message saying, "Love you Bestie!" How cute is that? She calls me her bestie and I call her mine. She is my little buddy, my partner in crime...ha ha ha! My son is my little man and I sure miss him as well!

LIFE

There seems to be a lot of drama in my area, a lot of crazy issues with friends . I am trying to just avoid all drama, I don't want to let foolishness steal my joy. It amazes me how much drama grown people can be. Yes, we all make mistakes but apologize for them and move on, don't keep drama going!
I'm happy to say I am avoiding drama right now, not wrapped up in anything. They may be talking, but they are wasting their time because it's not affecting me at all.

BLOG

I am very busy working on my other blog doing hair reviews and giveaways; www.hairwithpurpose.blogspot.com

I Love trying new products for natural hair and offering my readers free stuff!! One day I would love to open my own natural product hair company. It seems like an impossible dream, I just don't know where to start except to talk with some hair company owners and see how they got started. I am obsessed with natural hair!!

Not much else to say tonight...

peace and blessings ~ Jennifer

In Honor of Loving Day!

2010-06-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Loving Day Twitter Party

2010-06-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

On June 12, 1967 the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Mildred and Richard Loving when they filed suit against Virginia in their fight for the right to marry interracially. Until that year, it was illegal in many states for interracial couples to wed – a crime that would land them in jail. In honor of that ruling, the anniversary of which is now called Loving Day the Interracial Family Organization is sponsoring a Twitter party to meet up with old friends and make new ones – to come together and celebrate diversity and acknowledge this life-changing day in our history. Please come join us and share your thoughts.

What’s a Twitter Party? Check it out- http://www.twitterpartyguide.com/what-is-a-twitter-party

Our party will go from 8-9pm and will use the hashtag #IFOLovingDay.

Please RSVP HERE

Bad Mommy Moments

2010-06-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

This one is actually a bad Grammy moment...lol (sorry mom)

So my daughter hears a naughty words at school and asks my mother, "Grammy, What's a HO?"

My mother tells her, " It's a happy person!"

So my daughter thinks for a minute and says, "Oh ok My teacher is a Ho, Your're a Ho, Mommy is a Ho...." This is where we cut her off...

OOOOOPS! Bad Mommy moment!!

ADD MOM

2010-06-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at my computer right now wanting to clean my house so badly. It's a mess. Not nasty but cluttered right now. There is a basket of folded laundry beside me I never put away. There is my new mop bucket, cleaning supplies and organizational baskets on the couch because right now I am to be cleaning and organizing.

I have 6 windows open on my pc, One about colleges, 2 about cats, 2 about ADHD and this one...because I first decided to help my husband look at colleges...then thinking of my husband reminded me I'd look up his question he had about cats, then I looked down and saw the laundry I didn't put away which reminded me about ADHD and looking for tips on organizing with ADHD and that made me want to blog.

I swear...a mind like mine doesn't slow down. One though leads to another and another and sometimes I make fragmented sentences that make people think I'm crazy. Sometimes I forget I was supposed to be listening to someone and I look away or divert my attention elsewhere while they are still talking. PEOPLE HATE THAT and it's embarrassing. I don't take any meds I just let me be me...Unless I am taking college classes and really need to learn then, yeah, I will.

ADD can be really annoying for myself and people around me but some people find it amusing and "quirky" I have had more than one person tell me they'd love to map my thought processes to see how I get from topic A to topic Z so quickly...and I can. One thought leads to another to another to another and ..... wait....you're still on A??? Honey catch up but be careful because in a minute I'll be back on topic B and everyone says "Where the H*ll did that come from??" and I remind them that 10 minutes ago that was the topic of conversation. Confused yet? This is the ADHD mind.

Which I understand but this really bring me no closer to organizing this room right now does it? lol

Check out these links!

http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_adult_strategies.htm

http://www.additudemag.com/

Keep in touch

2010-05-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

The other day I had a conversation with someone who was very upset that I had not kept better in touch. The first thing I thought was "when did SHE keep in touch?"

Then I remembered a phone call I had with a friend last month. I asked her why she hadn't called in a month and she asked me the same question. See I had put it off on her, being hurt that she didn't call and she was feeling the same exact way.

Most of the time when people don't contact you, there is no malicious intent. People get busy and though you are on their mind, they forget to call or write. Feelings get hurt when people think they are being ignored but often both parties are feeling that way and a simple call would clear things up!

REMEMBER:

~*~It takes two to keep in touch....so when you think of a friend who hasn't called you in awhile...think about when was the last time you called them :) ♥ ~*~

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi

Someone remembers, someone cares;
Your name is whispered in someone’s prayers.
~Author Unknown

When you're happy, I'm happy. When you're sad, I'm sad. When you're lonely, call me! ~Author Unknown

explaining my life away

2010-05-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'm a little irritated right now. I have a friend who works at my children's school. We were hanging out this evening, doing a little shopping and she mentioned something that got under my skin. She said that the teachers at my children's school, and one person who works in the office were talking about my family. They noticed the kids have an African last name and that they have pretty dark skin for biracial children.

Apparently they have decided that "No one as white as her could have give birth to kids so BLACK!"

First of all, don't these people have better things to do that to sit around gossiping about student in their school.

I don't appreciate the implication that I am lying....AT ALL! I gave birth to my children, their father is from Africa and I have since remarried. Am I the only person in school with a different name then their children? If I had adopted them, they would have my last name!!! That argument makes no sense to me at all.

Why are these women discussing our skin tones?? I am apparently SO white and they are so BLACK. They are not even BLACK they are biracial. And why are they saying BLACK like it's some kind of dang disease??

One one hand I know I should let it roll of my shoulders....and I can see someone who doesn't deal with this all the time thinking it's no big deal but my children are there to learn and not to be picked apart and talked about.

I want to bring pictures to the school and show those teachers, see this is me pregnant, then this is me five minutes after birth, these are their baby pictures and birth certificates etc... But why do I have to prove anything? Why must I spend my life explaining?? It's 2010! Our president is biracial !!! It's NOT a new concept.

Some group of nosy heifers are not going to have me explaining my life away!!!

Whitening/Americanizing names

2010-05-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article on Honeysmoke blog entitled "Whitening Names". I enjoyed the article and it made me think of another way names are "whitened"/ Shortened and Americanized.

My children are 1/2 South Sudanese, from the Dinka Bor tribe to be exact. My daughter's name is Jamilah which is the Arabic word for beautiful. My sons name is Zuka which is a Dinka name meaning "coming again."
What I have noticed is that Americans in general feel very uncomfortable with names they are not used to. Jamilah is three simple syllables JA-MEE-LA. For some reason people make it seem so difficult.

Imagine my surprise when Jamilah first started in preschool and I see they have shortened her name to "MILLY"....... MILLY?? That's not even close to Jamilah and happens to be a typically American name. Another class called her Mila. Now she's old enough she tells her teachers that her name is "Jamilah" and that's what she wants to be called, BY HER NAME!!!! Not some whitened, Americanized version of her name.

Even my husband, Antonio, was bothered by the fact that teachers would always call him "Tony" as a child.

Have any of you experienced this???

In defense

2010-05-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

My son has been bullied by three boys at school. My son is biracial and from the North and we currently live in the south. The boys are white. Apparently one boy has stated repeatedly to my son that he and his family do not like "Yankees". There has also been jealousy expressed due to the fact my son, Z, is enrolled in the gifted program and gets to go to the gifted school one a week. He is one of only two students in his school who do this.

The first boy targeted Z in line, pushing him and punching him in the side of the head. Z came home in tears and told us of the incident. He did not defend himself. I have always taught him to be compassionate, avoid violence and be gentle. That's what he did.

When he came home crying we explained that though non-violence is the goal there are times when one's safety is in jeopardy and you have to defend yourself.

So the next week Z comes home upset again. The original boys two friends have thrown basketballs at his head and the both SPIT ON HIS FACE!! I was very upset, I e-mailed the principal and he called and explained that he talked to the boys and would paddle them the next time they acted up. (yes we live in the south and corporal punishment used here) I was hoping this would be the end.

Friday we got a call saying there was a bad fight. Apparently Z had had enough and defended himself. We headed off to the school, I was expecting my son to be very upset and possibly injured. We entered the office and my son didn't have a mark on him. He looked worried but kind of proud at the same time...

Apparently the boy had entered the bathroom where my son was trying to use the bathroom. He pushed Z and Z told him to stop. The boy taunted Z calling him gay and asking "what are you going to do about it?" Z told him to leave him alone. Z then went to wash his hands and the boy pushed him again, when Z asked him to stop he said again, "what are you going to do about it?" Z said, "FORGET THIS." Z jumped on the boy. The boy smacked his head on the stall. Z punched him and gave him a black eye.

The principal told me that the boy had to be checked for a concussion and was pretty beaten up. I told him, "I would like to tell you that I feel bad about that but the boy has been bullying my son for quite sometime, he just never expected him to fight back." The principal said that it was in fact self-defense and because of that Z is not in any trouble with the school....However because the problem is with 3 boys, they are moving my son to another class....easier to move one that three?!The school says next time the both him the law will be called to discuss the consequences of bullying.

I don't condone violence but there comes a time when you MUST defend yourself....either verbally of physically.

On kind of a tangent....Someone e-mailed me and accused me of something I had not done the other day and when I explained my side of the story they claimed I was being defensive....lol. What do people expect?? When you attack someone verbally or physically one has a right to defend themself. I never understood when people accuse someone of being "defensive".

In the situation with my son there was teacher in the bathroom, no adult to talk to and the boys had been repeatedly attacking him. So we have now tell our children that they are never to start a fight. They are never to hit anyone first...HOWEVER if there is a situation where the only option is to defend yourself...DEFEND YOURSELF however you can!!

life in general

2010-04-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging a whole lot lately...well except about hair. Natural Hair has gone from being a hobby to being an obsession to me. I love trying new products and offering giveaways and such...it's exciting! If you haven't check out the giveaways check out Hair With Purpose

I've gone through a hard time with my health in the past year and it got pretty rough in the past month where I would just break down crying and think, I can't possibly do this anymore. I was just so weak and in pain and my menoragghia was HORRIBLE!

I went through a time of sadness with the health problems, my parents heading to Maine, my father-in-law passing away and times were just really rough.

It seems like things are a little better right now...sun is shining....Kids are doing well and Hubby and I are happy :)

The game of "Imagine" by Tim Wise

2010-04-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.”

The following is written by Tim Wise,

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.

In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

Build the Dream

2010-04-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

A Memorial to a Hero Needs Your Support!

Their Mission:

We want to commemorate the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by leading a collaborative funding, design, and construction process in the creation of a memorial to honor his national and international contributions to world peace through non-violent social change..

The vision of a memorial in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. is one that captures the essence of his message, a message in which he so eloquently affirms the commanding tenants of the American Dream — Freedom, Democracy and Opportunity for All; a noble quest that gained him the Nobel Peace Prize and one that continues to influence people and societies throughout the world. Upon reflection, we are reminded that Dr. King's lifelong dedication to the idea of achieving human dignity through global relationships of well being has served to instill a broader and deeper sense of duty within each of us— a duty to be both responsible citizens and conscientious stewards of freedom and democracy.

Dr. King championed a movement that draws fully from the deep well of America's potential for freedom, opportunity, and justice. His vision of America is captured in his message of hope and possibility for a future anchored in dignity, sensitivity, and mutual respect; a message that challenges each of us to recognize that America's true strength lies in its diversity of talents. The vision of a memorial in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. is one that captures the essence of his message, a message in which he so eloquently affirms the commanding tenants of the American Dream — Freedom, Democracy and Opportunity for All; a noble quest that gained him the Nobel Peace Prize and one that continues to influence people and societies throughout the world. Upon reflection, we are reminded that Dr. King's lifelong dedication to the idea of achieving human dignity through global relationships of well being has served to instill a broader and deeper sense of duty within each of us— a duty to be both responsible citizens and conscientious stewards of freedom and democracy.

attack of the mean mommy

2010-04-01T04:38:00.000-07:00

My son has always been messy and a messy room is not unusual. My little girl however used to be so neat and tidy, she would even offer to organize our movie case and bookshelves. Lately they both have been little piggies!! The day before yesterday I told the kids I was going to go through their rooms the next day and give whatever I found on the floor to charity or have a yard sale. They begged and pleaded with me to give them one more day. I DID! Funny, I actually believed they might clean their rooms since last time I this happened I ended up donating about 5 bags of their stuff to our local church store.

Imagine my surprise when I went in their rooms they had been "cleaning" for a couple of hours and they were worse then when we started. Apparently my daughter needed to take everything she owned out to put it back away neatly? My son was just sitting on top of his pile of junk dazed and confused. I was so mad and felt so disrespected. We have a lot going on right now and the least the kids could do is pull their end of the load and clean up after themselves...one less thing for me to worry about!

Well I took their TV's and their game consoles...and told them I am too busy to get rid of their stuff today due to appointments so they have until bedtime tonight to save the rest of their stuff....Can you believe my daughter had the nerve to ask if I sell her stuff in a yard sale can she have the cash??!!!! Like she was thinking, "Bump this cleaning idea...I'm going to do nothing AND make some money"....UMMMMM....NO!!!

I have got to get these kids under control! I am getting very tired of the selfishness and laziness they are exhibiting the past few weeks!!!

IDEAS?? ADVICE?

Life

2010-03-30T05:11:00.000-07:00

Just an update on what's happening in my world

Got good news yesterday, they have one more option to try before they do surgery so I am hoping this one will work because I really want to have another baby one day!! The pain has been so bad I am praying this procedure will work!

My father in law passed away Thursday night from a heart attack. I really feel for my mother in law, in the past few years she has lost her husband, son and only brother.... I just can't imagine how hard that must be!

The day after my father in law passed away his nephew was murdered so it's going to be a double funeral....I've never heard of a double funeral before but I guess it's easier for the family, especially for those coming from out of town.

I'm just in shock at how much is going on, it seems like when it rains it pours....

Winter is over and my parents will be heading back up North, which sucks!!! I really will miss them...I miss my family and friends but we are hoping to make it up for a visit this summer, Lord willing.

Kid are doing awesome, they both made honor roll!

Peace and Blessings!!

break-down

2010-03-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

I was laying in bed with my hubby the other day....we were laying head to head in opposite directions and I was just thinking how connected we feel and how much I love him....

I suddenly felt this overwhelming sense of loss...thinking that one day death will take us away from one another and I started to cry.

Life is something I just cannot wrap my mind around....why we love people so much then face losing them?

I must have cried for a half hour thinking of all the love and loss in the world...My husband tried to remind me that love (like ours) is beautiful and I told him that's what makes it even harder to lose....We are never really given anything....even our beautiful children are on loan to us... sometimes it's just to much for me to fathom

LOVE

2010-03-10T17:53:00.000-08:00

I wonder about these people who are always giggly in love. Smiling and happy and showing the world how much they are in love. I have to wonder how much of that is real....
I mean, I love my husband but we don't sit around making googly eyes at each other. He is my complete opposite. He drives me nuts, he makes me crazy! He says up, I say down...he says night, I say day. We really are sooo different. We argue a bit everyday. Sometimes he makes me so mad I just want to punch him in the face....

But then I sit back and picture one day without him....and tears come to my eyes.

He makes me crazy and I guess it's because I'm crazy about him. I love him, because when the passion and spark dies down, when he drives me completely nuts I rather be there going nuts with him then any other place on earth....

Maybe it's crazy...lol....I call it Love

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

hey hey

2010-02-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

I haven't been online much lately except to check my messages quickly and log off. I have been enjoying life too much lol.

First Valentine's Day, Hubby and I celebrated a night early since the children were gone. We cooked some Italian food together, bought a bottle of wine and had a candle light dinner. It was relaxing and romantic. We then watched a movie together and just had a nice night, about US. Hubby bought me two pair of earring that I LOVE. I have seen this one pair of silver earring in the store by Jody Coyote...a earring designer that I love but my husband told me that a woman came and bought them right before he got there. I of course went to the store and sure enough they were gone :( . I was SO surprised when I got the earrings for Valentine's PLUS a pair of Jody Coyote gold hoops! he surely surprised me :) I also got some delish truffles and a cute stuffed doggy :) My BF got me a new set of silver nose rings and my parents got us all gift cards to go out to eat :)

Check out Jody Coyote Official website HERE
Here is another site that sells Jody Coyote: For the Love of Jody Coyote

Two days later was my BIRTHDAY!! I woke up to my kids yelling "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they gave me this really kool candle set with three pillar candles and rocks that go on a black tray, the Almond Vanilla scent smells soooo good. I went out for breakfast and there was a large box wrapped with pink and covered in tiara's saying Birthday girl...too cute. Tonio bought me the stereo I had been wanting!! We went to red lobster with my parents for lunch and I got my card and present which I bought me new fish tank with :) ! My BF gave me a card with $$ and a nice comforter set....soooo comfy. We went to her house that night to chill and play GUITAR HERO! I sang so much and just acted silly.... it was fun!

I have been getting out more....doing more...doing things I promised myself I would when I was in the hospital last year.....SINGING, dancing, being free and not caring what anyone else thinks. Just being ME!

I now have 5 fish in 4 separate spaces, only my mollies are together. We have 3 Betta's, Diablo, Ray and Sea Star (Jamilah named that one ;) ) I have a white Mollie named White Girl and a tattoo Mollie named Amor (she has a pink heart tattoo on her side and little blue dots) PICS SOON for all you fish lovers.

Just wanted to give ya'll an update so you know I'm still here....doing great...Living and LOVING life!!!

Peace & Blessings ~ Jennifer

blue

2010-02-03T13:26:00.000-08:00

I know some of ya'll might think I'm wrong for this post but it's just going to have to be that way. See I just got a call from a friend saying her other friend is pregnant... Now I'm no hater, really but this girl doesn't want this baby from a man she has known less than a month and is not even dating. She has already given up 3 kids and has another two she does not take care of. She was so mad to find out she was pregnant again.

I don't understand...there are just so many people out there who want babies and can't have them. I hate to say that anyone is more deserving that another to have a child so let's just say better prepared to have a child.....wishing, hoping, praying...and no baby....

Then there are these girls out having sex with all kinds of dudes and getting pregnant with babies they don't want, abort and give away... It just doesn't seem fair :(

RESPECT

2010-01-28T07:34:00.000-08:00

It's been three weeks since you've been looking for your friend
The one you let hit it and never called you again
'Member when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins
You act like you ain't hear him then gave him a little trim
To begin, how you think you really gon' pretend
Like you wasn't down then you called him again
Plus when you give it up so easy you ain't even fooling him
If you did it then, then you probably f*** again
Talking out your neck sayin' you're a Christian.....

Showing off your a** 'cause you're thinking it's a trend
Girlfriend, let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it 'cause I'm truly genuine
Don't be a hard rock when you're really a gem
Babygirl, respect is just a minimum

From "Doo Wop (That Thing)" by Lauryn Hill

I was listening to this song in the car the other day and it really made me think about some things I have noticed recently. I see so many women's status on facebook and twitter talking about how all men are dogs and use them for sex. Funny thing is though a man can't "use you for sex" if you're not giving it away!

I'm seeing status's from one particular woman who's man apparently doesn't come home, She wonders if he's at the other woman's house and talks about how much that hurts her. I want to tell her HONEY you are hurting yourself. Someone cannot hurt you unless you let them. OK I will give you one time, Shame on them....but two times, honey it's shame on you!

I'm seeing women who can't read and write, can't hold an intellectual conversation and say anything of any value but they take pride in their large bottom, tight jeans, fake nails and what's between their legs. When did that become our value as a woman?

I know a lot of girls would read this and think I'm a prude... I remember when I first starting dating and my brother tried to talk to me about making sure I was respecting myself first. I was SOOOO mad at him. I thought he didn't want me to have any fun at all. I thought he was just trying to hold me back. I had to go through some experiences of feeling used, of being taken for granted and yes, even being abused before I finally got it....

So I know what I'm talking about. Out of all the lessons I want to teach my daughter I want her to know she is soooo valuable and you don't give away what is valuable. I want her love and attention to be earned. I want her to show what a beautiful heart and mind she has, not what a beautiful body she has.

We as women, must respect ourselves first. We decide how others will treat us. If you let yourself be disrespected and used and abused, there are people out there who will take advantage of that. If you dress like you are advertising a strip club then YES, as wrong as it is to judge people, people are going to assume you are looking for sex.

Now I'm not saying every man is going to cheat and I have been very careful to try not to make any negative statements about men because I think both sexes are guilty of these things but since I'm talking to my girls...let me go on... Not every man is going to cheat but when he cheats and you beg for him back...you cry when he's visiting the "other women" and fight another women for a man, You are hurting YOURSELF! You are worth so much more than that, why would you let someone treat you that way?

If someone wants to leave you LET THEM GO!!! If someone is using you, not treating you right, LET THEM GO!! Life is too short to be unhappy. Take some time alone...learn your worth... value yourself and when you are finally whole and love YOURSELF then and only then can you truly be with another person.

Take care of YOU ladies!

All my Love and Blessings ~J

Drug Testing For Welfare

2010-01-25T17:40:00.000-08:00

I have a page on facebook and I keep getting this message daily asking me to join the group "Making Drug Tests Required to get Welfare". I am not only annoyed that that I keep getting suggestions that I join this group but a bit disappointed that 5 of my "friends" have joined this group. The worst part is that most of the people who are members of this group have never had to seek assistance, if they had they surely would not think this proposal is a good idea.

I don't use drugs. Drugs interest me in now way at all.... I don't smoke and I don't drink other than an occasional glass of wine... which is honestly quite rare. I have however been on "welfare". At 21 I was a single mother, living in a shelter for domestic violence and needed welfare to get by. So here was my life. Walking to school every day with two children, one toddler and one infant, two lunches, extra outfits for the kids and a huge backpack of college textbooks. I was in college full time and did work study after class. Between parenting two children, going to class, studying and working at the university believe me, I had no time for any recreation...especially drugs. I forgot to mention the numerous times I got called out of class when my daughter refused to take a bottle...I would run across campus and breastfeed her hoping to make it back to class before it ended. Every few weeks I would have to take a bus to the department of children and families, prove I was getting good grades, prove I was ONLY receiving the income I claimed, prove I was NOT receiving child support, prove I was working the right amount of hours ALONG with being a mother and full time college student. It was anything but an easy life. One of the worst parts was the stigma of being on welfare. Hearing judgemental people complain about how we all sit on our behinds and collect checks. How we keep having babies to get more money. You will never understand the looks you get and the way you are treated when you pay with food stamps until you have been there!!

I know many people think we all put ourselves in this situation... That we all have multiple "Baby Daddy's " but no...My children have the same father...and we were supposed to be together forever. I NEVER planned to be a single mother but there are only so many times a man can put you in the emergency room before you decide that it's enough. I wasn't going to stay with a man who abused me and would have done tremendous emotional harm to our children so that some ultra-conservative people would think I was a good woman for standing by my man. NOPE. So I left, called a crisis center and moved into a home for abused women.

So back to drug testing. I think what I find most offensive is the implication that people who need assistance are all trying to screw the system, that we want to sit back and do drugs and refuse to work.

Drug testing is also and invasion of privacy. When you go for a drug test you have to being all medications. Is it really the governments business what medications a person is taking?

Because there are people out there who abuse this institution people want to jump on the bandwagon and believe all people who receive assistance are lazy, sitting on their butts all day and collecting a check. Sure there are people who fit that stereotype but there are people who abuse every institution not just "welfare".

I just want people to put themselves in another persons shoes before they make snap judgements about poor people. No money doesn't mean no class, no morals, no integrity, no intelligence, no HOPE...

I welcome your respectful opinion :)

Health Update

2010-01-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

Last time I wrote an update on my health I had been told that I needed to have a procedure that would leave me unable to have any more children. It was very sad news for me but I was told that I could no longer take my medication and that the procedure was the only answer.

I saw the OBGYN in Gainesville and she consulted with the Hematologist there and I was told as long as I continue with the blood thinner I do not have to have an ablation!!

YAY! That's such awesome news... So Now I am working on getting healthy, getting in better shape and losing some weight so we have a baby!

When I do get pregnant I will have to take daily heparin shots no matter what shape I am in due to my past history of blood clots but that's a piece of cake!

Say a little prayer for us!!

Blessings~ Jennifer

What I'm Reading: White Guilt

2010-01-24T17:52:00.001-08:00

Synopsis

In 1955 the killers of Emmett Till, a black Mississippi youth, were acquitted because they were white. Forty years later, despite the strong DNA evidence against him, accused murderer O. J. Simpson went free after his attorney portrayed him as a victim of racism. The age of white supremacy has given way to an age of white guilt—and neither has been good for African Americans.

Through articulate analysis and engrossing recollections, acclaimed race relations scholar Shelby Steele sounds a powerful call for a new culture of personal responsibility.

Tale of two stores....

2010-01-24T17:29:00.000-08:00

Hubby and I went out on our first date in FOREVER last night and we spent a little time shopping before getting a smoothie and seeing a movie....

The first place we stopped was at a book store I was looking for some natural haircare books and I asked a store employee where I could find books on natural haircare. She proceeds to bring me to a hair/beauty section that is all books of white people. So I ask, "do you have anything like, thank God I'm natural?" and the woman gets this really awkward look on her face and tells me, "Umm that book is for black people." lol I told her that I was aware of this but that I had a natural haircare blog for black/biracial hair....which made her seem even more uneasy as I'm sure she wanted to ask me what a white women could possibly know about black hair....So I tell her that my family is interracial....ok that seems to do....until she tries to sell me a book with ideas about relaxing hair and putting in weaves and I tell her "Oh...No...We're into natural hair, no chemicals" and I look at her face and realize she has chemically straightened (permed) hair and she doesn't looked very impressed....OOOPS I'm so ready to leave the store by this point. lol No big deal....not feeling any racism or anything just an awkward experience dealing with race...

Next store....I am shopping for bra's...it's me, hubby and two sales ladies. I am the only white person I have bought a white shirt and need a white bra. The sales associate tells me that I cannot put a white bra, or a light bra under a white shirt because it will show... She says I need something dark or black...so I say "ummm but I'm light skinned so if I put on a black bra it's going to show" and the ladies bust our laughing. Partially because of she realized her mistake and also because I described myself as light skinned instead of white....and everyone, hubby included seemed to find that hilarious... lol

Man it's not easy being white ehhhh Light Skinned! ha ha ha!

Maybe we need a secret signal

2010-01-24T17:26:00.000-08:00

Awesome Article Posted by Laura Stillman at the Interracial Family Organization site...Check it out!!!

Maybe We Need a Secret Signal

Martin Luther King jr. Day !!!!

2010-01-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

These Pics were all taken at a friends house ...so mad at myself for forgetting the camera at the parade :(

My kiddos with their Friends :) at K's house

J sporting her MLK shirt

in front of K's car

Z in his Obama shirt

J had a sleepover on Sunday night so we got up Monday morning, got everyone ready and headed down to the parade. I was pretty surprised when I looked around the crowd at the parade and realized I was one of only two white people. I feel as though Martin Luther King Day should be celebrated by all but it seems my town was treating it like a African American Holiday. So besides that sad realization the parade was great. It was so cute watching all the little kids dancing and stomping while the bands passed, listening to floats blasting Martin Luther King jr. speeches and celebrating equality!

After the parade we took the girls home so we could rest up a little before going to K&B's for a bbq. My girl K can coooooook!!! We had ribs, chicken, greens, Mac& Cheese and potato salad...MMM MMM. The kids had fun playing with their friends and after 24 hours with 5 kids we were sure glad for some adults to talk to! :)

We spent time talking about what MLK day meant and racial equality....talking to the kids about why we celebrate Martin Luther King Day...All in All it was a great day!

This is a book my children own and love...One of the best MLK books for kids!

A few of my favorite Martin Luther King Quotes:

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon. which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
Martin Luther King, Jr.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

on my mind

2010-01-17T08:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't written much in the past few days, not because of my lack of topics I wanted to blog about but because I have so many things I want to talk about and I am having issues concentrating on just one topic. ADD Much? Yeah, that's me :)

One issue I have been thinking a lot about is Pat Robertsons comments on Haiti and how Haiti sold it's soul to the devil and therefore are now being punished by God with natural disasters. I must admit these comments did not sit well with me. I tweeted about it, FB'ed about it and heard many different opinions. I read Tony Campolo's "Haiti: God's Love is greater" (Thanks Mrs. Ellis!!) and it really made me think about the christian people in Haiti.
Why would God cause an event that would kill not only Christians and Non-Christians but also innocent children who have never been given a chance to be either one? In the bible when there was a big flood, Noah was given a warning and he and his family were spared. It seems as though any time an event like this happened in the bible Christians were given the opportunity to flee from the situation. In Haiti there was no warning. How could that be God? Why would He just decide to take out everyone this time with no warning? There were missionaries killed, Christians killed, and innocent lives taken. How could THAT be God? I don't believe that's who God is. I CAN'T believe that's who God is.

The second issue I have been thinking a lot about is my race and how being white fits into the whole race discussion. I am examining the theory that black people cannot be racist and that any comments made directed at white people are not racism they are just reaction to oppression and racism. I'm having a hard time with that. I have been attacked recently online for the simple fact that I am white. What gets me is that I am quite pro-black. Actually I am pro-loving-who-you-are! The way in which I raise my children celebrates who they are. I teach them to be proud of who they are, realizing that no man is greater or less than another, so never to try to be anyone but themselves. Yet, somehow I am told that I am not capable of raising strong healthy biracial children with positive self image because of my race and yet that is not supposed to be a racist comment. Really? hmmm

Third issue: Mourning. I'm mourning for all the losses in Haiti. I'm mourning for all those lost, hungry, abused....and it crosses my mind often how heartless many in the world are. It boggles my mind that people see hurt and pain and laugh. The comments I see online, sick, twisted, hateful comments under a video of people crying out in pain in Haiti.
Can you not see someone suffering and even IF you cannot find compassion in your heart for them, can you not say to yourself "what is this was MY mother brother sister daughter" And if you are truly a narcissist can you not even think "what if this were me?" Truly I cannot see how someone can completely lack compassion. It saddens me...it FRIGHTENS me!
The most dangerous human being is one that completely lacks compassion, therefore we must teach our children compassion!!! Anyway I am mourning for those in the world suffering and forgotten.

I'm thinking about this article... Ape suit tips of racial debate
"According to accounts the NAACP said it received from six parents and two students at Heathwood, a Hammond School student dressed in an ape costume attended the boys' varsity game and other Hammond students offered fried chicken to Heathwood's African-American players." I'm not even ready to touch this article but it angered me today and I have been thinking about it....

Still with me? These are just a few issues that I have been tossing around in my brain....just wanted to get that out! Thanks for listening...uhhh reading :)

Blessings, Jennifer

I love men

2010-01-13T20:39:00.001-08:00

I love men. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean it THAT way. I have some awesome men in my life. I grew up with three brothers who are really good guys, I have an great dad, and awesome hubby and a wonderful son. I've always had male friends and love my male family members. It really bothers me when I see women expressing so many negative messages about men. I see facebook and twitter status messages with statements like, "Men suck", "All men are dogs" "Men are pigs.." They exclaim that all men cheat, all men misunderstand women and are some sort of heartless wild beasts.

WOW! Where are these women finding these men? And if every man you date turns out to be a jerk shouldn't you examine your selection of men?

I never thought myself, a feminist, would end up being pro-man but really the more I see the more it saddens me. I worry about my son seeing these messages and internalizing them. I look at the positive men in my life and feel offended FOR them.

Yeah I know there are many men who cheat, there's many women also. There are men who commit crimes and sexually abuse women but just like we cannot categorize a whole race by the actions of a few we cannot categorize a whole sex that way either.

SO next time ladies you feel the urge to scream "ALL MEN ARE PIGS" think of the one (or more) man you know that isn't. I am sure you know at least one. Dad? Brother? Grandfather? SON? and think if you would like them categorized this way!

I sure wouldn't... I LOVE MY MEN!

whiteness

2010-01-13T05:44:00.000-08:00

I remember in college I had been having some difficulty around race issues. Some incidents had happened that upset me and the director of the Women's Resource Center where I worked suggested that I talk to the director of the Multicultural Center. I made an appointment and we sat down to chat. I can't remember exactly what was said but I do remember her reply when I explained how to racism I had been seeing was affecting me and I wanted to know how I could help to change it.

This woman told me, "I'm sorry that having biracial children has chipped away at your white privilege"

I sat there stunned, saddened and came to the conclusion that I as a white person had no right to talk about race or racism.

I acknowledge that privilege exists but that is not to say that racial tension is not difficult for white people. There are difficult stereotypes we carry. It' not easy being labeled as a racist because you have white skin and feeling that you somehow have to prove to the world that you are not.

I think in order to fight against racism we really need to see where each person at the table is coming from. It can't be and "us" against "them" scenario. Each person must be given a voice, a face.

your thoughts.....???

In response to Susan Crain Bakos

2010-01-11T10:31:00.000-08:00

As a white woman married to a black man whom I love, respect and adore I am sickened by the article I just read from Susan Crain Bakos, "A White Woman Explains why She prefers Black Men." One huge stereotype we fight against as an interracial couple is that we are together for sexual reasons. Like choosing a mate of a different race was some sort of sexual fetish for us. Susan completely sexualizes and objectifies the black man. stating that, "Black skin is thick and lush, sensuous to the touch, like satin and velvet made flesh" and "That phrase, "Once you go black, you never go back" is all about the feeling of the skin."

She sees a black man like an expensive, lush fur coast she car wear against her skin and toss out when a new coat comes along. She perpetuates the stereotype of black males being better lovers and sexual objects.

I love my husband and yes, I do find him sexy but not BECAUSE he is black. I love his smile and his cute freckles covering his face. I love his confidence and sense of humor, I LOVE his heart. One of the first times we went somewhere together I turned to see his quietly giving money to a homeless person. He talked about Art and showed me pictures of his family. He talked about his mother like she was a queen. He treated me like I was one also. I fell in love with a soul, not a body, not a race!!

I find many of the comments she made about white men offensive and false, talking about how white men are not good lovers and don't care for their bodies. She describes white men as:

"White men over 40 have lost their waistlines and their zest for life if they ever had it. They carry resentments, grudges and extra pounds in their basketball bellies. Perhaps a good part of that bloat is unhappiness"

I am not married to a white man, nor have I been in a serious relationship with one, but I see many attractive, happy, fit older white males around me. Where is she looking for men? She makes the white male sound like such a pathetic creature.

I remember my grandfather when he was 80 years old, still proving he was strong and full of life. I remember that he would still grab my grandmother's bum when she passed by.

My father is over 40 and definitely does NOT have a basketball belly. He cares about his health, his wife and living a full life!

How can you categorize a whole race like this? FOOLISHNESS!

I pride myself of not being judgemental so I'm not even going to talk this woman's sexual escapades and her whole lifestyle of looking for unattached sex. The problem is that people see articles like this and believe that ALL women who date inter-racially are like this.

Even though she sees the stereotypes of black men as positive, no stereotype is positive because it is a huge overgeneralization. Her article is filled with huge overgeneralizations of both black and white men.

This woman sickens me, really! If she were a man talking like this, exoticizing and sexualizing women we'd be calling him a misogynist and a pig. WELL SUSAN CRAIN BAKOS OINK OINK!

Stores ruin unsold clothing

2010-01-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

You know what sometimes people just make me sick! Well I should say big business makes me sick!

I am referring to an article I just read entitled :
H&M and Wal-Mart destroy and trash unsold goods

In 2009 there were approximately 3.5 million homeless people in the united states, 1.35 million of those are children. The economy is not in it's greatest state right now and many people are losing their jobs. Given this information you would think businesses would donate unsold goods to shelters and help organizations. What are H&M and Walmart doing with their unsold goods? DESTROYING them. Not only are they throwing them away and filling land fills with clothing that could be used but they are purposely destroying clothing so no one can find it and use it. Clothing was found slashed, arms cut off jackets, just made completely unusable.

I know that they probably claim that giving clothing away for free would cut down on sales. That is the usual excuse. Yeah, that's valid, because so many impoverished people were going to be able to shop at these stores for clothing. How are you going to lose sales from the people with the very lowest of incomes?

This just reflects many America's whole system on MONEY and GREED! You would rather throw away what you don't need, fill up land fills, pollute the earth then give away what others could use. SICKENING!

What can YOU DO?

Find out what business's in your area do with their excess. Contact companies and encourage them to donate their unsold items to charities
Donate your household excess to a local shelter or charity of choice
Join a local "Free Cycle" group on yahoo (there is one in every town!)and offer up what you would no longer use for free. People will come and pick it up and it keeps excess from ending up in land fills while helping out someone who can use it.

Blog Awards from LWP

2010-01-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

I was chosen for the Best Blog Award from Kat Robertson of Senile Momentia. Thanks Sweetie!

The Best Blog Award rules are:
1.To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.
2.Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

1.Laura Stillman of I Am the Glue
2. Jamilah of I Love Being Biracial
3. Happy Girl Hair
4. Life with Tiny
5. Sunshine at Naturally Fabulous
6. Donna Sparrow of This Nest
7.Cyndi Whitmore of Crazy White Girl
8. The moms of Colloquy Moms
9. Blasian Baby Notes
10.Lady Kinnks of Kinnks
11. Curly Kidz
12. Naturally Curly
13. Nikki of Beads, Braids & Beyond
14. Resist Racism
15. Jill of Tuff Chick

Show some love to each of these bloggers by visiting them and commenting on their blog:) Each of these are blogs I follow and enjoy and I carefully picked them for their unique qualities!

ENJOY!!

Intentional Ignorance

2010-01-05T11:03:00.000-08:00

Intentional Ignorance?

Is it that their eyes are blind
or do they chose not to care
could the world be so unkind
or are they unaware

The innocent writhe in pain
hearts broken everyday
days of pouring rain
loved one’s pass away

Children living on the streets
stuffing needles in their veins
sucking powder up decaying nostrils
frying up their brains

children being robbed of youth
broke, beaten, bruised,
girls, so far from home
spend their nights being used

there really is no freedom
death is everywhere
so, tell me, are you blind sir?
Or do you just not care

~Jennifer Morris

(aka Hushhh at gsp)

Ignorant sad sad people :(

2010-01-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was just one of those days. My hubby's cousin passed away and after grieving for a littlewhile I suggest we go do some grocery shopping at Publix to take his mind off things. Hey shopping always makes ME feel better!

This older white man passed by my husband and grunted and whispered something. I saw my husband looking very unhappy and as he went to explain the man went by and did the same thing again. I was like "what in the world" so being my usual self I decide to follow the man down the aisle he walked down. He spins around looks at me with disgust...like I was picking my nose or something kinda disgust...and he AGAIN grunts and whispers something under his breath. I still could not hear what he was saying. I started laughing. I told my husband, "well if there weren't any jerks in the world I would have so much less to blog about!"

Hubby did not find it amusing :( he was already down and hurting and having this man treat us like dirt sure didn't help. My attempts to make light of the situation were unfortunately futile.

This is NOT the first time and won't be the last. I have been asked in Walmart if my mother is proud of me and my little "half-breeds"...I have had some really nasty comments left online and even been stalked online by a white supremacist.

I seriously wonder what goes through one's mind when they decide that they don't like someone based on their snap judgements. Interracial families, same-sex couples, people with differing abilities, I know so many people face these incidents on a regular basis. Sometimes I get mad, other times I laugh and wonder how it must feel to go through life with so much anger and hatred. Honestly I have to feel bad for these ignorant people sometimes. Seriously! You have so little self-respect your willing to make yourself look like a fool to belittle someone else. SAD! really sad!

I'd love to hear from YOU ALL...what type of incidents have you dealt with and what is your typical reaction??

I am mom

2010-01-03T13:25:00.000-08:00

I remember when my son was a few months old, I laid in my bed beside him and decided that he was just the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Shortly after the realization hit that he would not be a baby forever and I laid beside him crying.

When I got pregnant with my daughter I was worried that I could not possibly love anyone as much as I did my son. Of course when my beautiful daughter was born my love expanded and I had loaned to me the two most beautiful creatures on earth.

Now here they are 8 and 10. We're still really close. My kids love to camp out beside my bed after we watch a movie together, just to sleep closer to me. They are always concerned about me yelling to me, "mom are you ok?" if I am in the bath a little longer than expected. Since my pulmonary embolism this has increased quite a bit and I get checked on ALL the time. My daughter take my bath time as "girl time" and always wants to come in the bathroom (I pull my curtain half-shut) she sits on the bath seat and discusses her latest blog idea or sometimes reads me a book.

They are both at the age where they WANT to do chores. They love putting the laundry in the dryer or helping me cook. They're fun to be around! In my house there is always someone to be silly with, paint pictures with, dance with and just be yourself with. They love to just hang-out with my husband and I and we LOVE to hang out with them.

What makes me nervous is the realization that in a few year all of that may very well be over. Teen years will hit, hormones will change my beautiful children in hormonal teenagers and I will miss them so. I guess the teen years signify a separation from me and I wonder who I will be and what I will do when my whole life isn't devoted to being mommy. Tears well up in my eyes even as I write this... I can't imagine them not living in my house, not snuggling with me when we watch a movie or waking me up because they had a nightmare.

Though of course I want my children to grow up and lives wonderful fulfilling lives, right now their growing up is also my biggest worry...I don't know how I'll ever be able to let go....

HUGE pregnant with Zuka

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.

The woman existed, but the mother, never.

A mother is something absolutely new.

~Rajneesh

Interracial Family Organization Looking for Writers

2010-01-02T18:51:00.000-08:00

Are you biracial/multiracial?

Are you in an interracial marriage or committed relationship?

Are you the parent of a biracial/multiracial child (through birth or adoption)?

ATTENTION: All racially/culturally blended individuals, couples, parents, and families ---

Laura Stillman (http://iamtheglue.blogspot.com), Kat Robertson (http://senilemomentia.com), and Jennifer Morris (http://livinwpurpose.blogspot.com) are inviting you to come join in celebrating the beauty of our diversity. We have founded the Interracial Family Organization in response to recent political/legal events concerning interracial marriages and biracial children.

MISSION STATEMENT of the IFO: To facilitate the cultural recognition of interracial/multicultural families and disassociate this culture from longstanding stigma by exposing and discrediting stereotypes.

Our purpose is to raise awareness of the prejudices our community faces, to provide support to one another, and to offer a medium for each voice to be heard! We are accepting articles from YOU, along with your family's story and photograph(s) to be featured on our website. If you are interested in participating, please email your information as follows:

Article with relevance to racially/culturally blended life
Biographical or autobiographical submission describing/introducing your family to our online community
Photographs of members of your family WITH expressed permission for publication on our website for EACH person in the photo

Please send one or both types of articles along with up to three photos to:

team@interracialfamily.org

*Please pass this invitation to anyone you believe may be interested!*

New Years Eve

2010-01-01T17:41:00.000-08:00

HAPPY New year! This is the kids and I New Years Eve!

We started out the evening by heading over to a friends house. It was nice to see friends and hang out for a bit but we promised the kiddos we'd take pictures at the park and be home in time to see the ball drop in NYC.

Our park is full of beautiful Christmas lights and decorations. We go every year and take pictures at night. the weather was nice enough to not need a jacket.

The kids enjoyed posing with the various decorations :)

We met a man at the park who was deaf. I sign a little so we talked...I signed "Happy" the finger spelled "New Year" and he taught me how to sign "Happy New Year. He then passed me a little paper he shows people asking for money. I felt bad that I didn't have any change on me at all. I didn't bring my purse and I had no pockets. I bet people tell him that all the time, they reach in the pockets and pretend to look for change then say they have none. I felt bad and signed "Sorry" as he walked away.....

Here's my family...Last picture before we headed home.

We made it back in time to watch the ball drop from a live feed on out computer. (since we don't do cable)

We toasted with a glass of sparkling cider (thanks Grammy & Grandpa) and we danced to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

It was a great night!!! Wishing you all a very Blessed New Year full of nothing but Peace and Happiness!

Love and Blessings !!! ~Jennifer

Brotherly Love

2009-12-31T13:47:00.000-08:00

My little girl is so sure of herself. She believes a girl can do anything, and someday she can! She likes to be very independent. Today she went out to play. I always keep the blinds open and I can see her from the living room or kitchen but still don't like her to play alone. If none of her friends are outside I sometimes call her brother and ask him to go out and play with her and keep an eye on here. She's be so mad if she knew but he'd never tell her.

Today she headed outside with her yo-yo. There was no one outside and I called her brother. He ran and got his Yo-yo and headed out the door....on the way out he gave me a wink as if to say "don't worry mom, I got this!" it was just adorable. They drive each other absolutely NUTS but at the same time they are quietly worried about each other and highly protective of one another. I love that!

Stereotypes

2009-12-31T09:36:00.000-08:00

Stereotypes of:

white people:

1. They are racist

2. they have no rythmn, can't dance

3. They are rednecks and live in trailer parks

4. they have money and have never lived through struggles

5. they have less athletic ability

6. they don't care about other races

7. they ONLY speak English (in the U.S.)

8. if they listen to hip/hop they are trying to be black

9. they don't understand racism

10. they think they are superior

Black people:

1. They are "Ghetto"

2. They love kool-aid, watermelon and fried chicken

3. Man have large "male parts"

4. Good at sports

5. Are criminals, all thugs who sell drugs

6. uneducated

7. Loud

8. have a chip on their shoulder

9. they have rythmn, can dance well

10. can sing well

Asian People:

1. they are smart

2. they are sneaky

3. women are exotic

4. men have small "male parts"

5. They know Karate

6. Don't speak English

7. they eat cats and dogs

8. they are all Chinese

9. They are not from the United States

10. Bad drivers

Hispanic people:

1. They steal

2. They are not from the United states

3. They speak spanish, don't speak English

4. Are taking "our jobs"

5. drug dealers

6.hard-working people who get paid minimum wage

7. are illegal immigrants

8. pack many people into their houses ond cars

9. women are "easy"

10. they are all mexicans

Women who date black men or have biracial children:

1. Can't find a white man to date so had to date a black man

2. Only date black men for reasons sexually related

3. are trashy, are premiscious

4. Are less educated

5. Are on welfare

6. can't do their biracial children's hair

7. They are stealing "our men"

8. They must be overweight or unintelligent

9. are more subservient

Black men who date/marry white women:

1. are white washed/ sell-outs

2. They don't like black women, or women of other races

3. been brainwashed by media believing that less melanin is better.

4. They deny racism

5. Couldn't find a black woman to date, they act "too white"

6. they deny their own race

7. They are stealing "our women"

These stereotypes are all concerning race but as you know there are stereotypes of all kinds of people, people who ride motorcycles, people who are lawyers, people with tatoos, people of certain religions etc....

When I talk here about white/black racist issues, I want you to realize that I understand that racism exists in every race and against every race.

Whether you know it or not, we probably ALL have some stereotypes embedded in us by our families, friends, the media. The problem with stereotypes is that they are a HUGE overgeneralization. Often they are completely invalid and FALSE. Even stereoypes that appear good. No stereotype is a good one. In the end, everybody is their own individual.

In this New Year let us examine our own beliefs and see if we are holding and prejudices and stereotypes that we can let go of!!

Happy New Year!!!

2009-12-31T07:22:00.001-08:00

The Art of Gus Bennett

2009-12-28T16:38:00.000-08:00

Another Artist I am Digging right now

GUS BENNETT

I'm loving his Art! Check it out!

No Difference Between Them

2009-12-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

I came across this photographer, Robert Kalman while web surfing today. He art is beautiful.

I am loving his black and white pictures of Interracial Couples displayed beautifully in his book

No Difference Between Them

check it out!

Redefine Girly with Pigtail Pals

2009-12-27T12:25:00.000-08:00

Here's Jamilah in one of her Favorite Christmas Presents her Pigtail Pals T-shirt

Here's a little from the designer about what "Redefine Girly" Means:

Redefine Girly means that our girls will show the world they aren't just sassy princesses or spoiled brats. Our girls will show the world they have the potential to grow up to be more than a drama queen or pop star. Redefine Girly means we can expect the same things for our daughters, from our daughters, as we do our sons.
The art and messages on my shirts show girls that they can dream in any color. They can dream to be adventurous, to be a hero. The shirts tell girls that being smart, daring and adventurous is being girly. My company will show girls how to respect themselves, their community, and their environment. My shirts are sweatshop, child-labor free. They are made and screened using responsible practices that keep the environment and our footprint in mind. All of my shipping and marketing materials are recyclable. I have a Charity of the Month that I contribute to with the sale of every single shirt. Our girls deserve to know their actions can change the world in a meaningful, lasting way.

I love the message, love the t-shirts and the theme song :)

check out the website to see what I mean

Natural Hairstyle Idea and Blended Beauty Review! Check it out!

2009-12-27T11:50:00.000-08:00

Please check out my Blended Beauty Review

and Natural Hair Style

at Hair With Purpose

Before and After

I can do whatever I like

2009-12-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

My kids LOVE this video...lol if it's become their new anthem

SO what? I'm Half black & Half white

I can do whatever I like!!!

Christmas

2009-12-26T13:07:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately I don't have any Christmas morning pics. I didn't realize until too late that my batteries were dead in my camera. AHHH that's not kool but hey Mom can't always remember EVERYTHING! We had an awesome Christmas however. Kids woke us up plenty early and opened their Christmas stocking. My parents came over shortly after and we all opened presents. I got some great books, and some natural beauty products. The kids both got toys, clothing, books, games and a PS3 which they spent MOST of Christmas day playing!

Here is my house Christmas day WRECKED...but no one seems to care they are glued to the ps3! *SMH*

We went to Chinese for lunch, instead of cooking a big meal. I have to say that it was sooo much more relaxing not worrying about cooking, serving and cleaning up! There was an awesome Sushi bar there and I was in heaven....mmmm Sushi with Spicy sauce!! My parents, Aunt and Uncle joined us for lunch and we had fun talking, laughing, eating and just enjoying our day.

After dinner we headed home, kiddos playing their games and I took a nap on the couch, exhausted from the days excitement. Later in the day everyone got in their jammies and we snuggled in front of the computer for a movie :) with some holiday punch and cookies!

It was a great day! Simple and Happy....Celebrating Christmas, Family and Love!

Peace and Blessings~ Jennifer